Looking Back on the Year of Overcoming Power

Looking back, these 18 years have nothing short of a blessing. I have been an easily angered, attention-seeking prick for the first 14 years. Yet, discovering God's unmerited favor for me has transformed me tremendously.

I love SAJC. Amid the gossip about me that for some reason I do not hear about and the imperfections that come from even a mission school, God has used SAJC to restore everything that I've lost. Friends, grades and even on-stage stardom, the latter being one I officially retire from.

I've experienced success in my studies and healing for my body. I've matured a lot more in my thinking and know how to love genuinely. I've grown so much closer to God and have experienced His threefold blessings, physical, emotional and spiritual, time and again.

I've learnt that there are people who genuinely care for me and not everyone is living for their own sakes. I've learnt that friendships can last even when seasons don't, so long as we choose to be intentional in making them last. Most importantly, I've learnt that I don't know everything and need to stay humble and keep learning, lest my pride bring me a great fall.

2015 has indeed been a Year of Overcoming Power, where I overcome so many physical, emotional and spiritual barriers by the favor and empowerment of God. May 2016, the Year of New Beginnings, surpass 2015 in quality and in quantity, and may God use me for even greater exploits to come!

Throwback Letter

It's a long time since I left Riverlife, and I particularly enjoy this letter from a close friend of mine whose name shall be chan. Just wanted to share to you that youth can Dear Joel,

It's (insert name). I found my letter rushed and short, so I thought it'd be better if I sit and re-write it. Well, it's been a year or so since I've known you and it has been truly delightful. I want to say how comforting it was to have someone as cheery and enthusiastic as you to journey with me through different points of my walk with The King. I pray that this fire with continue to burn and grow bigger while you take on a new challenge: leaving for a new church.

I honestly know that The Lord has prepared you well to venture out into the unknown and to lead the lost sheep home to The Father. He needs someone passionate and dedicated. He needs you. So, I really hope that you will carry out His plans and remember that you are never a failure in His eyes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, so are the people whom you will meet in future. And, for sure, you will find a community better than us — who will listen to your preachings, support you always, teach you fresh things, give you good advice, share thrilling moments with you. They are for you and never against you, because I know that if our Good Lord brings one into a different picture, He will provide you with the relevant necessities.

I pray for your family to be able to grasp this moment in time as an opportunity to grow closer to each other and to God. I pray for peace upon your homes and for you to find a second home in the new church you may join. I pray for joy to overwhelm you [as always] and I pray that you will bring yourself to love the unloved and unlovable.

His sovereign hand is upon you and the people around you, so never fear of lacking, for His love endures forever. I will never forget all the crazy times we shared with the rest of the youths and kids every Sunday — searching high and low for missing tags, being teachers to the younger ones, entertaining the children with drama performances, jamming to catchy songs, eating chicken pie on the blue, round tables and failing to finish Project SOS… Whoops?

Whatever it was, I am grateful for it and I hope to hear from you in the future. God has a majestic and exciting plan mapped out for you and He is coming to bring His lovely bride home. Know to discern right from wrong and trust in God alone. If you ever were to feel down and blue, Riverlife will always welcome you!

It was nice to know that your cell, actually, do care a lot, huh? Yes, I get how you feel. I learnt that you never know how much someone means to you until they're gone. I speak now, that I have not regretted one bit being your friend and sorry for all the awful things I've done like leaving you, Ben and Faith out during Kingdom Invasion. I pray for your forgiveness. I acknowledge that I wasn't being very nice, but I truly wanted to spend time with my cell for they hardly meet up to attend weird seminars like those.

I hope that you had fun during this year's camp and remember that it's alright not to have "gold dust" or "great visions" or "strange dreams" or "spiritual attacks" to define how strong or precious you are in Christ Jesus. I believe that He will give you these gifts when the time comes, or maybe nothing at all, but it's fine for all that matters is HE LOVES YOU AND HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER.

Last but not least, enjoy yourself and I now understand why you take a lot of selfless. I've learnt from you and I now try to take a lot of shots because I realise how precious they are. No longer will I cover my face from the camera now, aha!

Alrighties, thanks for the daily verses and the weird tweets. Thanks for the lame jokes and the many loud "AMEN!" s. I hope that wouldn't be the last time I hear from you. Text us more and the ushers + Aunty Celeste will always miss your morning shouts of, "AND WE WILL SERVE WITH JOY!"

I have to stop or else I am afraid I'll babble on till forever. We should meet up with the rest some times during the holidays. You will always be the decibel whom Jesus loves. Remember that, yo!

Don't stop loving Hebrew and keep that little booklet of Hebrew grace and all.

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS!

With love in Christ,
(inset name)

P.S. I still hate math and calculus

P.S.S. Remember the note the lady wrote you during K.I.

P.S.S.S. That was funny stuff

P.S.S.S. QHAT SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inspiring in Suffering by Faith

Before I begin, let me say that suffering is  never caused by God. Suffering is the result of the sinful nature of humans and God will do all that He can to end our suffering permanently. 

Yet, Romans 8:28 tells us that God makes all things, good and bad, work out for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. Believe it or not, it is possible to honor God amid suffering.

In my case, I became very sick in April/May his year. The folds on my skin tore and every small movement (eg folding my arms) gave me a burning sensation. I became so sick I had to stop going to school and having GP tuition. It was horrible. During this time my family kept on declaring by faith that "by His stripes I am healed".

Eventually after visiting In Him Church and receiving prayer from the members there, my parents had the prompting to purchase a certain brand of cream and moisturizer that my skin reacted positively to, and eventually my skin was more or less completely healed, even better than I was before I was sick, albeit with a little bit of remnant areas which we are believing by faith to be healed.

Throughout the time I was sick, I felt like giving up. I felt as though God did not want to heal me. Yet, my spirit did not give up, since God has promised healing of chronic illnesses in the Bible. So we kept confessing faith and not fear, trusting that God is faithful in keeping His promise. At the end of it all, after I had my final GP session before the A levels, my GP tutor told me, "You've taught me that it's possible to remain joyful in the midst of suffering."

Keep the faith, don't give up on trusting God, and people will still see God's glory in you, even if you are suffering.

Biblical Friends

Some friends come, some go. Some form more quicker than others, some require a lot more time and intention. Either case, if we are intentional about it, our friendships can last beyond the appointed seasons, and we can have friendships that edify and are not just hi/bye.

Shouldn't we let God do all of the work? Yes. He gives the friendships the progress or antigress they need. Just like how Peter walked on water by stepping out into the water, so will we choosing to be intentional in making biblical friendships allow God to make them last.

Do it by faith through grace!

Stop Skipping Good Songs!

Yo music people at church! I'm thankful y'all play music to induce an appropriate activity for events, but I'd greatly appreciate if ya stop skipping good songs, namely those performed by Israel and New Breed...thanks!

Math Essay

Backstory: I had to submit an essay on 'the most significant theory' that I consider...so here's the Theory of the Study of Calculus on Thinking Skills.

Mathematics is a science unlike most, in the sense that determining whether ideas hold or not purely relies on axioms of choice and logical deductions and theorems that follow. The theory of calculus as a relatively modern discipline proves innovative in discovery, rigorous in refinement and applicable in the more tangible sciences, thus making it not just an important theory in Mathematics but also providing key skills to true education.

The conception of both differential and integral calculus have both been very apparent. By using so-called ‘infinitesimal’ quantities, which are too insignificant to make any substantial change to the theory, Newton and Leibniz considered the gradient of the tangent at a point, allowing instantaneous rates of change to be calculated, leading to differential calculus. This is ingenious, as it breaks the conventional norm that gradients need to be between two points, encouraging creativity in thinking, crucial in the study of any discipline. Areas under the curve representing a function f were likewise calculated using infinitesimal rectangles between the curve and the x–axis, and they discovered that rates of change of areas at a point was the value of f at that point, giving rise to integral calculus. This spirit of thinking out of the box and experimenting new approaches to problem-solving is thus the key to extend one’s knowledge of the topic.

Eventually mathematicians questioned the notion of infinitesimals, that so long as it is nonzero, it creates an error between the actual ‘gradient’ at a point and the ‘measured’ gradient. As much as they wanted to be rigorous, they didn’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, that is, the key idea of calculus. Thus, the concept of limits was introduced to formalise calculus and allow the ideas to be rigorously defined and used to minimise ambiguity. Diligence and attention to detail is displayed here to maximise clarity in communication, highly vital in a world with increasing emphasis on clarity of communication. Critical thinking is also embodied, where what is taught is not necessarily accepted as blind faith but challenged and made better through a better form.

With a solidified theory of calculus, scientists could then model many processes using differential equations, since most processes involve rates of change (differential calculus) and its reverse (integral calculus). A large portion of Physics involve rates of change from estimations (use of Maclaurin’s series to estimate a quantity with minimal error) to kinematics (velocity as rate of change of displacement and acceleration as rate of change of velocity) and waves (the use of Laplace and Fourier transforms to approximate sinusoidal waveforms) that has allowed them to more efficiently make measurements and calculate predictions. The versatility of calculus has encouraged the act of active learning — application of what is learned at the theoretical framework into sciences and technology that has mankind to do what was previously impossible.

Thus, the theory of calculus not only provides development in the technical sense of clear understanding and consensus in study, but also development in the thinking skills that apply to academia as well as outside of academia. It thus is not only a pursuit for content but a honing of skills that we should all keep developing as we learn continuously. 

Only A Miracle

Recently I've been thinking about love again, and was contemplating on beginning one with a bang. Perhaps a spectacular invitation to be my girl. Yet, I realized that would be impossible.

Consider the way I do things and the way everyone else does. They differ. I share little to no common interest with anyone outside of studies, and even then I've graduated, essentially alienating me from everyone else.

Even in church when, beyond the shadow of any doubt I am close to my Life Group, I still find little common topic with them. For some strange, odd reason I enjoy intellectual discussions as opposed to topics closer to entertainment and the like.

In particular, I enjoy talking about Theology and all things pertaining the details in the Bible, such as Old Testament imagery and prophecy, the Hebrew language and even the Greek language, all of which could be found in Hope Seminary. Unfortunately, there are few to none who do enjoy such talks. Not their fault, but perhaps a difference in interests, which I find difficult to change or find new ones.

Thus, it is no surprise that even if I were to take interest in a girl, she would unlikely like the things I like and vice versa.

In conclusion, only a miracle from God will allow me to experience a lifelong marriage and union with a partner. Till then, #teamsingle

God is Proud of You

And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” [Matthew 3:17]

I've grown up in church hearing things like, "you are highly favored of the Lord," and that revelation that God's favor is on me regardless of what I've done and all because of what Jesus had done revolutionized my life since 14 years old.

At the end of November of last year, however, as I travelled, I saw a young mom expressing joy for her son as though he was her pride. The son just stood there being adored by his mom. 

It dawned upon me that the word 'highly favored' meant 'proud of', as in just as Jesus is the pride of God the Father, so am I in this world. 

God is proud of me, regardless of what I've done and all because of what Jesus had done and that I am God's child.

It's easy to think that God loves us, and even also to think that God favors us, but so very counter-intuitive, even immoral, to think that God is proud of us, since our actions clearly don't warrant such pride.

Yet, I want you to know this:

GOD IS ALREADY SO VERY PROUD OF YOU, FOR THE VERY FACT THAT YOU ARE HIS CHILD, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!

He may not be pleased with your action all the time but He is most certainly pleased with YOU, because as JESUS is, so are you in this world! Your nature is found in Christ, and God is proud of you in Christ, not based on what you do, and thus you cannot ever be "un-prided" by the Father by what you do either!

God is so very proud of you, O highly favored in the Beloved!

Confusion, Confusion

There are many things I've learnt at church: how to love God and love neighbor. Yet I do feel a compromise on who I am.

I can't express myself freely lest younger believers stumble or the program can't go on, which though valid do chip away this aspect of me in church.

The firm structure in cell forbids me from expressing contrasting views, in hopes that younger believers can learn more effectively.

Church teaches us to be influences, but how can I be an influence without a say?

I know it's not about me, yet one can't help but think—am I losing my mind in trying harder and harder to love?

Why does it feel like I'm trying to please fellow brethren with intentions to bless them but deep down I'm crumbling inside, unable to express without being slammed with words of correction and do's and don'ts?

What exactly is stopping LGs from awe-inspiring unity? Why is there a sense of judgment and condemnation when he Bible clearly declares it gone?

Perhaps, in an attempt to ensure the welfare of others I've compromised on my own—which in turn creates socially unacceptable yet apparent realization that I'm harming more than I'm helping.

Perhaps in an attempt to bless others I've instead become reliant on them and nothing but an attention-seeking nuisance.

Perhaps, my trust is in my effort and not God.

Today, I write this to choose Christ. No more self-improvement. No more striving for the love of others. It's time to rest. Rest. Rest.

Bless when I'm with people, be blessed when I'm not. A life in Christ...alone but not lonely and a blessing when with people.

Yes, my habits will change, but I'll let God change me from the inside out, lest the harder I try the worse my habits.

I receive Your supply amid the many demands that come my way.

I receive.

To the advice "Trust God" I can only reply, "Who else?"

Loneliness

Wow it has been a long time since my last entry. Unfortunately for me, my friends are all busy studying for the upcoming A's while I here have decided to take tomorrow off to rest and relax.

Frankly, what so good about a free day if there's no one to share it with? How I wish that there were more people who could afford tomorrow off. To be fair, my brother and I are visiting the museum tomorrow morning, and I'm definitely grateful for that, but he's busy too, in the afternoon.

Perhaps God is wooing me to spend time with Him, to cure this lonely heart by being alone with Him. Yet, how can I live as a lone person? I've been a lone person before, and my relationship with God grew, which was the right time and season, but now God has placed me in a place of influencing the lives of others, and I do not want to develop the fear of trusting people as I did in time past.

Speaking of the fear trusting people, I had three study meetups today–all of which got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. Granted, it's not their fault, but when I book my time for a session, I block out time for others, that is, my request to study with another is my expression of trust in them, and time and again this trust seems to be breaking.

God corrects through circumstances, so I decided that I'm going to continue to trust people despite repeated 'failures'. I'm going to choose to avail myself for people even though I may not be reciprocated, since Jesus availed Himself for me while I was still trapped in the Law.

Yet, I feel lonely.

I'd like companionship, and everyone is busy.

Sometimes I question if this gift of excellence in academics is really a blessing or a curse.

Overcoming Sickness (11 May 2015)

Overcoming Sickness

Sickness is not from God. Jesus on earth was constantly driving sicknesses out of individuals. However, that something is not caused by God, does not imply that it be used by God for the good of His people. These five months have not been the easiest on me due to the prolonged eczema that I have been battling with, along with the emotional and psychological battle that I face every day in response to it. However, God has proven faithful these few months and will continue to be faithful in His word at restoring my health.

These three revelations came to me while I was battling this chronic relapse:

Firstly, God wanted to heal me in the long run. He could have given me instant relief…but that would not break my 18–year habit of scratching even when it’s not itchy, meaning to say that my skin could never completely recover, along with complete overcoming of the need for oral steroids. Sure, it would heal on its own, but the damage that my scratching does to my skin has been extensive, and through this season of therapy and hellish cold turkey, God is training me to kick the habit of scratching. Once my body recovers fully, it has sustained health instead of my restless hands destroying it any further. Also, the Lord is using this sickness to train me in patience, in hopefully waiting for His promises to come to pass. The Lord is faithful in His word and when He declares that by His stripes, I am healed from even physical ailment, it is so. However, there are instantaneous healing and there are healing that occur over time. Through it, the Lord builds my patience, crucial to my character, further multiplying the hope that He has first given me. And after five days of torturous post–steroidal side effects, God has indeed taken me through.

Problems and trials…help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. (Romans 5:3b–5a)

Secondly, the Lord showed me the immense love and care that the Church has for me. For months, my Life Group and leaders have been praying for my complete restoration. Even when I returned to Riverlife Church, many people for me to receive my healing as soon as possible. One of my ex-churchmates even grieved over the sickness that caused my suffering. At school, believers from different churches, some more conservative and others more charismatic, continue to pray for my healing, that God would end my suffering as soon as possible and grant me mercy and relief from the chronic eczema. Friends whom I admittedly am not too close to also join in to pray for my health. Truly, I see the Church unite in crises for the glory of God. With regard to the Church, I am also pleasantly surprised that many believers have been encouraged by the faith that I display, for not throwing in the towel in trusting God and persevering in this fight of faith. It has spurred them on to trust God more with their life and challenges, drawing them closer to Him. It has increased Christ-centeredness and trust, two crucial elements of our faith. May the Church grow closer to God and follow His direction far closer than before.

…the effective prayer of the righteous avail much. (James 5:16b)

Thirdly, I see true love in action. Love that just goes on one–on–one dinners, involves romance between a couple and the happiest honeymoon of all time is not true love, but love that endures all suffering to be with another. My mother has been the greatest pillar of support throughout these five days, tirelessly cleaning after me hour after hour. When I literally could not move, she would be the one to clean me and moisturise my skin. She is my food supplier even when she was exhausted. In the middle of the night when the itches seize my body and the discomfort, my soul, she would awake from her incomplete slumber and help me. In the midst of the suffering, I asked God, “Save me or waste me” and gave up on myself. Well, God never gave up on me, neither did my mom, who prayed with me time and again to keep the faith and keep trusting in the Lord. In my ugliest and smelliest moments, my mom was by my side, persevering with through the five days of post–steroidal hell. My dad and brother also gathered frequently to partake of the Holy Communion as a family, inviting Jesus to take control over my sickness once again. Love is not superficial. True love goes all the way, beyond human imagination, where only God can fathom and what God provides us humans with—a tiny glimpse of His great love for us. If what I had been through physically was hell, how much greater the magnitude in Jesus’ suffering—for you and for me? True love truly perseveres, and such love only God supplies.

Love…always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:7d)

On 11 May 2015, Joel has successfully overcome the post–steroid cold turkey experience. While it is not something I would want to experience again, it certainly had taught me a lot. I have quite a bit to catch up in terms of schoolwork, but nothing is impossible. The first hurdle in my healing has been overcome; now it’s restoration of my long–term eczema. Post–cold turkey, I have better control over my scratching tendencies, better responsibility over my medication and closer relationships with God and my family. Not that it was from God, but that indeed God turned the bad into good. Maybe not in an instant, maybe we still had to walk through the darkest valley and maybe the future is worse than today, but in everything God is with us. And if God is for us, nothing can stand against us! (Romans 8:31)

And we know in all things that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

–Joel Kindiak, 05.11.15

Joel Kindiak's Birthday Weekend 2015

Joel Kindiak’s Birthday Weekend 2015

On the 29 April 2015, Joel Kindiak officially turns 18. He is finally legal to participate in long-anticipated activity like alcohol consumption, 4D–betting and being effectively an adult. Yet, these do not seem to attract me much. Rather, I celebrated by 18th with a Birthday Jam.

To be fair, I did have a H3 Linear Algebra Final Exam to take first, of which I’m trusting God for the Distinction that would looks beautiful on my A Level report card. After the exam, I returned home to rest and prepare myself for Birthday Jam 2015.

I first met Alvin at Starbucks while Phyllis and Faith came about ten minutes later. We went to get food and went over to chill and makan for a while at my palace first, following by jamming to our songs. We sang “Our God” by Chris Tomlin and a medley of “Holy Spirit” by Bethel Music and “Your Presence is Heaven” by Israel and New Breed. The video for Our God, in fact, has been loaded up; here’s the link if you want to check it out: http://youtu.be/gQialVMxs0Q

We filmed at my place then braved rain and storm to the Southern Ridges, where we filmed even more there. It was humbling to see my friends sacrifice their comfort to bring me the best birthday I’ve ever had in 18 years. They exemplified God’s agape love, a self-sacrificial love, one that the world desperately needs.

Two days later, on Labour Day, I was recovering from a healing crisis (i.e. immune system crash) on Thursday, but had the honour of hosting my life group at home. It was an awesome moment to see everyone sharing vulnerably about how they are all going through tough times, similar in essence but varying widely in form. We are holding on to one another in this SALG (St. Andrew’s Life Group) and we will be there for one another. This is what family is for. And they rewarded me with a dau–sa–pao cake and cards and affirmations…boosting every joy I have had this 18th birthday so far.

On Saturday, I decided to pop by Megalife to see how things are doing. Catching up with Crystal and Tamara made me realise the wave of rigidity that Megalife was going through for the past few months, draining the life out of many members. Yet, today’s service was a strong reminder for Megalife to return to their roots, to repent to dependency on God instead of smarts, plans or self-effort. I had the honour of witnessing this ministerial repentance. And I had nice brief catch–up sessions, ones that I hope to prolong in the future, with Marcus, Samuel, Rachel, Ming Sheng, Vanessa, Yvonne and Justina. Alvin isn’t in the list cos’ we’ll be meeting once every two weeks anyway.

Over the weekend, I’ve seen and felt God’s love and favour for me, amidst my horrible sickness, in many ways. Firstly, I realise that the people of God still care for me, that they love me even though I am not physically present most of the time, and that truly I am welcome by God’s people everywhere I go. Secondly, I realise that God has used my life as a testimony of faith and hope, to keep the faith despite prolonged sickness, and making me realise that the people around me are indeed encouraged and affirmed to press on when they see me trusting God amidst persistent eczema, to continue trusting in God’s sovereignty and His hand amidst the trial and tribulation. Thirdly, I have learnt that my prayers have power. I am the righteous child of God bearing His overcoming power, and my words have power to release souls from distress. I hope that God will open my eyes to see more opportunities to pray for believers and non-believers alike that they may receive God’s power in their lives. 

All in all, this 18th birthday was a truly blessed one. From Wednesday’s Birthday Jam to an impromptu Birthday Weekend, I truly am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved by my Abba in heaven. A blessed 18th birthday and a blessed 19th year it shall be for Joel Kindiak!

Let it Be Well with My Soul

It's not my ministry. It's God's.

The invites have been sent. The opportunities for salvation have been open. All that is left is for God to move.

If responses are favorable, I will rejoice. If blue-ticks are awry, I will rejoice. It's not my job to get them to come. It's God's.

As much as I want them saved, I cannot force it upon them to be so. Only God can convict them and bring about repentance. It's God's show.

Let go, let God. 

None of self, all of Christ.

None of us, all of Christ.

May it be well with my soul.

:Joel Kindiak/041215

I Cannot But Christ Can!

I cannot do well, but Christ can!

I cannot overcome, but Christ can!

I cannot change people, but Christ can!

I cannot justify me, but Christ can!

It's time to keep our eyes on Jesus.

Plans for 2015

Well, it sure was long since I last blogged. The year so far have been generally okay if I didn't have an outrageous outbreak of eczema and conjunctivitis. Trusting God for restoration of those areas and the power to overcome them perpetually too.

This year is the A levels, but that isn't what have been keeping me busy. That I'm undertaking H3 Linear Algebra that consumes my Mondays and Thursdays from leisure is the main bane of the year. Thanking God it'll all be over on my birthday.

Speaking of my birthday, my friends and I are going to head over to town to record some covers by some of my favourite artists, like Our God by Chris Tomlin and Your Presence is Heaven by Israel and New Breed. I'll definitely keep those videos as my birthday presents once my buddy edits and produces them.

On my birthday, we're beginning to restart Project Logos, our former bible study project, in a different name. We have a far more concrete goal now and a clearer direction in undertaking this project. It'll be in conjunction with another project that we have been holding off. Get ready to be blessed by what God is going to do in these projects!

After H3 Lin-Alg ends, I foresee the year to be just like my O-level one – Morning till afternoon its revision and work and after that, it's chillaxing all the way. We'll have time for Project Logos in the evening and I'll be far more free for Life Group sessions throughout the year. I can't wait for H3 Linear Algebra to conclude!

2015 is going to be an awesome year. Be sure to check out each day, be it fun or boring, on my #potd2015 project on Instagram @joelkindiakpotd15

Have a blessed, Christ-centered year too!

:Joel Kindiak/032515

Aloneness

To you, the reader:

Aloneness is not loneliness.

Since I was 16, I had learnt to embrace solitude. To embrace aloneness. Where there is no other human being than myself and God. Many a time in the past I fervently sought to meet people and spend quality time with them, being countlessly rejected time and again. I was lonely. The more I asked and got rejected, the lonelier I got. Then I decided to give up. Completely. My one true friend would be God alone. He is the One who never forsook me, He is the One who is literally always there for me.

So now if you ask me out, I'd have to think twice if I were willing to give up my alone time for you. Clearly, you cannot be there for me always. You cannot fully understand my joy or my pain. You will not be available for me, not because you are a horrible person, but because here in Singapore you simply have no time to do so. The feeling is mutual. Or perhaps not, considering I used to keep on making time to spend with you but yet got rejected time and again. Now that I have found a consistent source of joy, it is time for you to take a reprieve yourself. Deal with your loneliness. It's a serious problem.

That only God can satisfy completely.

:Joel Kindiak

Live the Abundant Life

I can use vulgarity because all my sins have already been forgiven.
I can practice sorcery because I am righteous.
I can be lazy and not work hard in my studies because I have unmerited favour.

But do you live the abundant life?

It is PITIFUL, no VERY PITIFUL to think that God is on your side to practice actions that are so LOWLY on every level! God has called us to reign. People say that these activities make you happy and carefree, but do they? And are they really happiness-inducing? Temporal, perhaps. Long-lasting, I really doubt it. People think it's freedom, I see it's bondage. They have no option to stop doing it. Freedom is the ability to say no, not the ability to do anything one feels.

I pity despisers of grace. I don't despise them; I pity them.

May the gospel revolutionise your life and take you from defeat into victory.