Sunday, June 29, 2014

29 June 2014

Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. [Psalm 1:1-2]

Think it this way: Blessed is the man who does not rely on man's limitations but on God's abundance. The Bible says that relying on Jesus' ways (the law of the Lord) is the man who is blessed. Pray to Jesus. Talk to Him. Love Him before any man. Get ready to live the abundant life!

28 June 2014

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. [Philippians 3:7]

Let's wake up every morning knowing that all that we are are nothing compared to the awesomeness of Christ. He is altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to you and me. Let's love Him with all our hearts, for He first gave His love to us with all of His heart. <3

27 June 2014

The king’s wrath is like the roaring of a lion, But his favor is like dew on the grass. [Proverbs 19:12]

Jesus is your king, and He is ready to shower favour onto your life. Get ready for floodgates of His goodness!

26 June 2014

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. [Proverbs 18:21]

So speak out goodness unto your life! If you need financial provision, proclaim, "Jesus supplies me with all my needs." If you need help in studies, say, "Jesus is my teacher". Death and life are in the power of your tongue!

25 June 2014

I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." [Psalm 16:2]

Isn't it wonderful to know that if Jesus is the only good thing in us, God doesn't see unrighteousness in us because when we let Jesus take over our life, we're only righteous in God's eyes? Man, I'm telling you, Jesus is my lover and I'm gonna live my life in Him for Him, because He gave His life for me. He became my sin; now I become His righteousness. He died for me; now I live in Him and for Him. How 'bout you?

24 June 2014

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained, What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? [Psalm 8:3-4]

Think about it: God Almighty, the One who created the heavens, is mindful of you and gave His life for you. That's just... Wow.

23 June 2014

My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart. [Psalm 7:10]

Jesus is your shield. Jesus has made you upright in heart in the eyes of the Father. You are forever secure in the hands of your loving Abba Father. Now won't you believe this truth that will set you free from worry, fear and stress? :)

#junehols2014 [29 June 2014] The Golden Age

I reached the church in the morning, as always, but with a very different spirit. Now it wasn't a spirit of hanging out. It was a spirit of rejection, that my cellmate was preferred over I, and I was the one left out. Sometimes, it sucks to be in love with the Bible, simply because everyone else isn't, and I have no idea of how to fellowship without the Bible or anything Christian–related. The friends who were interested in the Bible, either they didn't show up, or they prefer less elderly activity and enjoy more cool, modern, hipster activities due to the influence of other cool people, of which I am obviously not a part of.

As such, I decided to isolate myself and have a nice read of the Scriptures. I needed solace and comfort for my restless soul. The Lord revealed that I was getting emotionally attached on man again, the same recurring mistake that have haunted me over and over again. It haunted me through Primary and Secondary School and still does today. Lord, today, I rest in You! Only You can love me completely. The ones I rested upon cannot support me; they are too young, they have not seen the world, and they certainly cannot be burdened by me. But Lord, I cast my burdens unto You!

Upon that time of restfulness, I retuned to the Grace Canopy, where we discussed about seeing Jesus in the tribe of Judah. Following that, God gave me a chance to be a small group teacher for the day as I engaged 9-year-old boys in discussion. They are one easily distracted, lively bunch, to which I know exactly how to deal with them: sarcasm. They ask me if they can go toilet? No; pee in your pants! They ask me if I got a girlfriend? Many. In fact all the ladies out there are incredibly attracted to me. Sarcasm: they key to getting their attention or causing them to lose hopes on irritating me.

We then returned to the Grace canopy, where we jammed to Wake, as well as played 4-chord songs with out guitarist just repeating the chords and yours truly singing to songs that follow the same chord progression. Contemporary music is not *that* difficult to play, you know.

Following that, we had a distracted/unproductive Bible Study of Zebulun, to which we tried to interpret using the skills the Lord has taught us, to no avail. We were stuck at Zebulun and could not progress on to the other sons. Pastor Tony then taught me the academic way of studying the Bible, which honestly was not what I needed at that point in time. Due to our lack in preparation, we are going to choose to go Rhema, until we meet for discussion again next week.

Next week, I won't sulk no longer; I came to indulge in God's Word with God's people, not to just chat with people, even believers. Yes, I did that before, and boy was it fun, but we talked a lot of Bible. And now since we have more people returning (not new people) who are not as crazy over the Bible as I, I wouldn't be surprised that the spiritual atmosphere undoubtedly is diminishing. That said, I want to keep up the fire, and by His grace I'll keep going. My friends who used to be crazy over the bible as well may not be as much now, but I want to keep the flame burning. I love the Word of God. I love the Logos.

In short, it's the end of my Golden Age in Superlife. Yes, I used to be a prominent figure, and thank God, for He used me well in that position, but my Golden Age is over. I'm moving forward to greater glory! With that, we have come to the end of #junehols2014!


#junehols2014 [28 June 2014] Homies

Tuition in the morning. I kind of corrected my student in that if she wants the good grade, it's hers, not mine, so she needs the motivation, not me. Revised algebra with my other student and nearly killed him by showing him the large and small perspective on the same concept. Went to my other student's house and did not cover much considering that he did not have too many doubts about Maths.

Went to church for a prayer gathering for Project Logos, where we spent more time worshipping than actually praying, hence feeling that the time we had was a tad bit short. Also, we had dinner and then service. During the dinner, I, once again, felt left out, if it weren't obvious by my attention–grabbing measures. After service, the dudes came together and had supper together, out–seating the other cells and ministries at the nearby MacDonald's.


We then sent our friend off at the airport (sorry, too lazy to detail today...). Marcus tried to tease Pamela, but alas, an efforted yet completely futile attempt at doing so. (Pamela was there because her brother was the one we were sending off). We met their parents, and I can officially say that I know their family. I saw their little sister, and I concluded that she would be a combination of her two sarcastic siblings combined. Dope. Later, we chilled at Starbucks and almost witnessed a plane crash before going home. I may update this on Monday, but for now I'm going to zone out.

#junehols2014 [27 June 2014] Superlife Gathering

#tootiredtorecount

Alright, here are some highlights of the day

  • Woke up early with my brother and travel from Clementi to Pasir Ris. Thank God for my brother's wisdom in telling me to wait for an extra train...so that it would be empty and I could sleep well!
  • Went to Downtown East to rant about my feelings of rejection. I had to let it go momentarily, but if I really want to overcome I'll need to get a solution rather than just rant. I need solutions. On the bright side, my trip back to White Sands for breakfast was complimented by an enjoyably windy, breezy morning.
  • Made new friends in TAP in the Gathering. It's interesting also to note how people complain of me too dominating (in a good way) when I didn't even try to lead. That's just how God created me. Weird, huh? As a group, we did play some nice icebreakers like Electric Current and get to at least have fun together.
  • We also had ministry time, where we played lots of games and had fun. This kid called Kevin tried to distract the rest, but when he came to me, I took advantage of it to shut him up that he may not distract the rest. Pretty cool dude, albeit a tad attention-seeking.

  • Wesley intruded our time of encouragement by reminding us of our purpose of serving. I felt that it would be helpful on the basis that everyone had themselves a firm identity of Christ. And, as a matter of fact, I doubt that many of us did, and may start to confuse this reminder and correction as laws again. It's easy to fall into that trap. 
  • Had short time of hunk–to–hunk talk with Benjamin on the way to MRT Station, talking about the issues of pride, as well as the imminence of Christ's return. It's scary not for us, since we are saved, but for our friends who haven't and would face the wrath of God. There's no time left.
  • Went back to church for cell but slacked outside Grace Chapel for a while, while Chee Yann recounted the history of TAP. It intrigues me to hear of the rise and fall of that ministry, as with Usher Team and even my life; which is going through yet another transition.
  • Had cell with Shnameless, but left early for Project Logos. Nonetheless, here's a nice photo of a game which we played, where it's execution of simple instructions, where differing interpretations of those instructions bring about its difficulty and complexity.




Thursday, June 26, 2014

Let It Go

I foresee that when Megalifers think of 'Joel Kindiak', they think of one of the following: fire for God, crazy over Bible, outgoing, energetic. Yup, I love God because the Lord first loved me. This fire that burns inside has been burning since 3 years ago and continues to burn. This insanity over the Bible goes on after the countless revelations of Christ in the Scriptures. Yet, I am human. I do not experience sinless perfection, and I certainly do not escape moments of down–ness and occasions where I feel unloved, uncared for and rejected by my peers. The first one is how I currently feel.

What triggered these chain of thoughts that have recently been haunting me one more time is everyone's highly honoured milestone: their birthday. (Disclaimer: I AM NOT BLAMING THE INDIVIDUAL'S BIRTHDAY; IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT SHE WAS BORN YESTERDAY) That said, it was her birthday and all the joy and laughter that was going on that made me start to reflect on mine: all 17 birthdays of it. And as I reflect, I start to feel hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt. I figured that I had to let it go in some way, shape fashion or form, and I did in yesterday's blog, though not substantively. Today, it's a full–on rant on my current state of heart; all the emotions that swirl around waiting to be expelled lest they drive me completely insane.

Unlike her, no one gave me a surprise birthday. Unlike her, no one flooded me with 'Happy Birthday' texts over various social media platforms. Heck, 29 April passed unnoticed while 26 June became a pinnacle of celebration. This is definitely one deep problem I have that I have not told many people. In fact, I kept telling everyone that my birthday is but a day; it does not commemorate anything special, since it is but another 24 hours on this earth. Now, it's not the form that I'm concerned (such as outings and messages, etc), but what they entail that I've always wanted but never had. No one remembers, but a smattering of people who aren't even close to me. Heck, I might actually delete my Facebook account on my birth week next year just to see who actually remembers 29 April without an extra Facebook notification. I'm sorry, but outside my family, no one cares. That's how blatant I will put it.

"Joel, you must consider everyone else, on how busy their lives and schedules are." That is true, but what about me? Don't I have busyness too? Don't I have my own life to run too? Yet I have not yet found the one or two friends I can legitimately call close; I have not found them and am losing hope in doing so. And no, I do not want friends who read this blog and hence treat me nicely; I don't deal with hypocrisy. I want acceptance. I don't want an environment where everyone is only nice to each other; I want authenticity. I don't want faith–filled Christians who keep on speaking faith but do not confess their weaknesses, like me. I want to be honoured. And looking at how things are now, I am not honoured at all.

Yes, my family loves me and I love my family, but other than my biological family, have I really another family who also cares for me and loves me lovingly? I doubt it. For starters, no one cares about 29 April. Examinations are more important on 29 April than a day out at the beach or relaxation by a café. There are more crucial issues to attend to than to accompany to actually go to Adventure Cove for the first time. I'm a quality time person, and I'm sure many aren't, hence the great divide. I'm not being fair to many people now, but honestly, many more people have not been fair to me. This is but a part of my human nature, so let me talk about this weakness that I have, even for a faith–filled, Bible–believing, demon–rebuking believer.

My birthday. Apparently, it was definitely the biggest highlight of my life, one that I've suppressed. I've always wondered if anyone cared for my birthday to ask me for it, and turns out for the past 11 years of my life, none of the classes that I was in ever wished me "Happy Birthday". It's not the act; it's the significance and the preciousness of the moment that I've been yearning for, yet none of my peers ever cared. Heck, none of my church mates ever cared. 29 April, for many, passed by unnoticed, with me confessing good things to suppress the yearning that I actually have. No one ever thrower me a surprise birthday party. No one ever took me stargazing. Hey, if you have an issue to feel sad, lonely, and unwanted, look at me before you start complaining. Look at this individual whose 29 April have NEVER been celebrated by his peers and church mates for all 10 years of secondary school education. And thank God that you have close friends, unlike I. Friends who actually honour you as much or more than how much you honour them.

Unless you have read my struggle, don't complain. If you are, do me a favour and stop. And do pray for me.

Joel Kindiak

#junehols2014 [26 June 2014] Chilling

Once again, I woke up early to meet an appointment at school today. It was a meeting for preparations for Christian Mission Week (CMW), where I’m involved in the publicity portion of the event. My parents and I had breakfast, once again, and it was a nice one. I don’t know how many times I’ve thanked Mom and Dad, but you two are just…I love you.

During the meeting while discussing which I was unessential in, I asked Tamara over text once again what she was going to do to celebrate her 14th, which just so happens to be today. After some of her concerns, she finally reported an outing with her homies, and thus finally have an extraordinary birthday. That’s cool and all, and I’m glad for her. That said, I do feel a bit nostalgic and…well…hurt when I look back at all my birthdays.

No one invited me for a celebration. No friend actually remembered my birthday (well, I think about 4 people do, but still). I celebrate my birthday with my family, but outside my family, no one remembers. Heck, not even my cell gave me a card. (sidenote: huge thanks to Ryan, my cell leader for the card) Either I’m actually feeling extremely hurt by such ignorance or I’m putting on a facade of “I’m fine” to curb unnecessary hurt, that once again, my friends clearly do not value me to remember my birthday. I don’t know, but for now I’ll keep seeing myself as unimportant to others. Of course, I’ll never ever downplay on the identity which Christ died to bestow me with, that I am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved by Daddy God, but with regards to other homo sapiens around me…that’s a different issue altogether. I think.

Anyway, during the meeting, due to extreme boredom, I went online to read up on the Riemann hypothesis and Riemann zeta function, which I sensed the mantle to prove/disprove unto the glory of God. I had to do more in-depth comprehension on complex numbers in order to even try comprehending the Riemann hypothesis, especially the concept of a complex exponential. The point is this: when my friends saw me so heavily crazed up over Mathematics, they jokingly complained to tell me to stop it and all, to which I jokingly also replied, “No.” I mean, it’s all in the name of fun, but that’s the fun–the reactions. It’s all about the reactions!

After the meeting I met Mom for lunch, and we ate at Old Town White Coffee nearby the Novena MRT station. As we ate, we talked about how our childhood games rocked in comparison to today’s digitalised system of running things, and wow it was fun, to get involved in all the noise and the laughter and the excitement in just spending time with our families (Mom’s siblings/cousins, as well as mine) and peers. Clearly, there is a lot more interaction and nostalgia in the olden days when juxtaposed to today’s iPads and techno–savvy gadgets. That’s lunch, and with that I made my way over to North Point, Yishun.

Sitting at the MacDonald’s outlet with a $4.95 cheesecake on my table and a nice window view of the train tracks outside, I would expect a meaningful time there. I sat there enjoying the Epistle to the Romans by Apostle Paul, up till I got to the end of Chapter 3. His language pretty much mind–boggled mine and I laid my head on the table to rest. During this time, I was still listening, on loop, Darlene Zschech’s Revealing Jesus album. Seriously, all these tracks just exult Jesus so clearly; go get it. When I woke, I definitely felt more energised and more charged to keep reading Romans. As I read, this little girl peered through the glass window. I kind of played by making weird sounds on the glass and definitely made her laugh. I’m sure she saw my Bible, so I was thinking, “Why not show her John 3:16?” Unfortunately what I had at the moment was NKJV, which would brain fry her, and so I took my phone out to flip to the NIV version…only that I was too late as her Muslim mother chased her away and back to her seat. Sigh.

Then there was this Chinese boy. He was also getting restless and cranky…until I started making funny faces toward him (well, I tried to) and made him laugh. I love it when children laugh. They show off the beauty that lies in them. We’ll see where God takes me in the future, hopefully along the lines of Children’s Ministry.

Then I was about to take a direct bus to Tampines and from there another bus home, but I realised that I would be spending the night at my cousins, so why not head off to the West directly? And so I did, taking the train and ending up at Jurong Point, Boon Lay. On my way here, my churchmate texted me to inform me of the Usher Gathering tomorrow, which, to my dismay, involved wet games as the reminder text included a reminder to bring extra clothes as well as slippers. I decided that if I were to attend tomorrow, I would sit out of the games. I’ll be, in essence, a visitor, and don’t you make me get wet! Travelling along, another churchmate talked about how she’s starting on another “module” as I would interpret it for her homeschooling course, focusing on the book of Proverbs. I was complaining; why didn’t they have one on Romans, the most epic book in the Bible? And I also ranted on how I was not allowed to take Bible Knowledge as an O level subject due to the bane of being a school candidate, as well as how even if I did, I had to memorise the two longest books in the Bible (Luke and Acts) instead of the epic ones like Romans, Hebrews and John, even. All these kept me occupied as I took the trains to Boon Lay.

Here, I walked a bit to find the nice window view. At first the most obvious candidate was Starbucks, that was, before I realised that the only available seats were non air–conditioned. And we all know that non air–conditioned seats in Singapore is one of the most frustrating, considering how oven–like this country is become in temperature. I kept searching and ended up at the Kopitiam, where I type this recount in the scenic view of a construction site. Hey, at least I get to see the cranes movings stuff with a backdrop of white clouds painted unto a sky of blue. And the way the cranes do it is quite intriguing too, might I add.



Met my brother and went to my cousin’s place together. We then united with my cousins and had dinner. Before that, I messed around the settings on my aunt’s computer just to see how irritated she might feel. Meh. for the lols. We then played some really old classics like Old Maid, Happy Family and a long, intense game of Ludo. Sounds ancient? Time for Project Logos, and time for bed. My feelings are pestering me…all found in the ‘Feelings’ blogpost. With that, lailah tov!



Feelings

Feelings of inadequacy
Feelings of lack
Feelings of not being good enough
Feelings of not trying hard enough

Feelings of rejection
Feelings of disappointment
Feelings of helplessness
Feelings of weakness

Feelings of inability
Feelings of discontentment
Feelings of anger
Feelings of frustration

Feelings of depression
Feelings of sickness
Feelings of trepidation
Feelings of despair

Because God loves me
Because Jesus died for me
Because I am set free
Because the Spirit sets me free

Because God does not give any of these
Because God is love
Because God is not sick
Because God is not fearful

Because I preach against all this
Because I am saved by grace
Because Jesus is my righteousness
Because as He is, so am I

I break such feelings ALL in Jesus' name

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

#junehols2014 [25 June 2014] Teddy Bear

#junehols2014 [25 June 2014] Apologetics MasterClass

Looks like this week, for a last of the June holidays, is actually one hectic one.

In the morning, my parents took me to Toa Payoh. I really love them a lot. They do all that the cyan to get me convenience and hence shower love in this way. They rock to the max. My mom explained to me the workings of CPF and my dad, driving. Cool stuff, though I still feel too young to know this. Perhaps I am one childish lad, one might say?

After breakfast with Mom and Dad, I made my way over to Junction 8. On my way there, I had a nice morning chat, I guess one would put it, over the phone. Well, more of just hearing one out. But sometimes what people need isn’t consoling but just being there for them. That’s what I resolve to do to be a loving friend to the people around me. And hey, why not share Christ along the way? Actually, sharing Christ is the focus, but befriending is the medium.

Went over to Junction 8 at Bishan and met my CCA–mates for breakfast; while they eat, I attempt to complete the AQ question which I didn’t yesterday due to extreme fatigue. Meanwhile, some friends inquired of Economics concepts, and while explaining to them the big picture, I also get some insights myself. The opportunity cost of it, however, is that I did not get to finish my AQ there and then. After breakfast, we went paperwork shopping at Popular. I got myself a nifty little chess set while cuddling a cute teddy bear I saw at Popular. Once I move over to Clementi I’m definitely going to get that Teddy!



Instead of taking the traditional route of MRT home, I decided to take bus 58, which travels from Bishan through Pasir Ris. It was, you would say, an eye–opener for me as I saw more parts of Singapore that I have not otherwise. I’m getting to know my homeland a tad bit better now! Whilst journeying I listened to Darlene Zschech’s Revealing Jesus album, which is undoubtedly Christ–exalting, and I felt so joyful (on the verge of tears) every time I read a review on the album that agrees my sentiments that it exalts Jesus. Seriously, go get it. It is awesome.

At church, I finally completed my AQ! Yes, one burden down, more to go after Chinese tuition tonight. For now, it’s time for Apologetics MasterClass (hosted by Riverlife Church) with speakers from Ravi Zacharias Ministries, an international apologetics–focused ministry by none other than Ravi Zacharias (his team is giving us a visit today). The time of explanation was definitely insightful, and the introduction felt like a GP lesson, one that causes us to think deep into the very fundamental essence of our worldview. We answered questions, and I quickly adjourned home to wash up and prepare for tuition, while settling the details for my blog.


Done the tuition session and onto Project Logos. Not terribly engaging, but enough for the text to be expounded on. With that, I did the summaries and am about to embark on Chinese tuition homework. Here I go!

#junehols2014 [24 June 2014] Tuition Day

Woke up late on the luxury that all my outstanding homework have been completed, only to be invaded by my GP tutor. Don’t misunderstand me; my GP tutor is a great tutor. He explains things clearly and helps me realise my errors more in-depth in order to avoid them in-depth. However, the fact that this tuition exists means that homework exists, and homework for me this last week is the worst burden I could ever have. Yet, I am to complete a comprehension paper as well as evaluate a quote from a famous personality. Homework. Sigh.

Well, it’s my turn to give tuition, and my father drove me to the tuition site. On the way, he explained that he has found an omnipotent supplement which he thinks may work. This would be fine, if it doesn’t mean deviating from my ongoing TCM treatment which, after many attempts at the doctors and most of them failing to actually cure me, actually works. But it did, and I got freaked out. I finally found a treatment that actually works, and now I’m being subscribed to another regime whose credibility I have no idea of. I actually, momentarily, felt hopeless of any opportunity of actually getting better. But I decided that I’m going to obey my parents, and if anything happens to my body because of this treatment, they be held responsible for my misery.

So I went to my student’s house. I just realised that she didn’t do O levels but N(A) levels, which means that I would have to adjust my teaching style to fit that syllabus. In fact, I’ll probably have to learn N(A) Maths before even teaching it…though it’s quite similar to O levels, it does have the more technical and actually applicable aspect of Mathematics involved. That’s actually quite cool, you know, after 5 years of theory.

Afterward, I went to Pasir Ris to meet my friend for yet another Bible discussion. It’s interesting how the more we see Jesus in the Scriptures, the more we want to see more of Jesus, and the more passionate we become for the Word of God. The way to love the Lord is to see Jesus come alive in the Scriptures, especially in the Old Testament! That’s where all the golden treasures and precious gems are hidden in.



Went home to do Project Logos discussion, and tiredly shower and finish my GP paper. Well, almost, since I left the AQ for another day. Procrastination. Yep, I procrastinate.


Monday, June 23, 2014

#junehols2014 [23 June 2014] Homie Day

Woke up early in the morning only to realise that my tuition session is cancelled. I'm starting to doubt that this student really wants to have tuition, giving me all sorts of excuses to skip tuition lessons. I'm guessing tomorrow afternoon she'll give me another stupid excuse to not have tuition. It's not my loss...it's hers.

Went to the bank to get a new card; a card that actually works (my current card was a tad bit faulty). After that, I met a churchmate for an in-depth study/reserach of Genesis 49...although we ended up watching a marathon of Messed-Up Bible Stories videos. These videos are to be taken with a light heart...don't get overly offended, greater glory child of God!

We went to Paya Lebar and, since I was lost, walked a station to the next coffee shop, where we enjoyed lunch. Well, ate lunch. The food wasn't good, I had to wait for the electricity to start up before I could even purchase my food, and the transactions there didn't seem too upright. Not that they are not, but the degree of it is quite un–trustable. Nonetheless, I had to eat.

After that, we went to Bugis to print some documents (specifically, the Genesis 49 research from Matthew Henry and John Wesley...only to realise that the whole document would have cost me $3.00 for 10 pages. Not very economic. So we bailed and went to Dhoby Ghaut to get my churchmate a haircut, which he felt the desperate need for. Then, we met another churchmate to retrieve some classic photography film, whilst yolo-ing for a while, such as selfie-ing in the middle of the road. Though a bit late, we finally met another churchmate of ours and went to his house, where we awkwardly accepted his family's dinner cooking. My tummy started to growl, and I rushed to the toilet. Right there, I sensed overwhelming stress and pressure in leading Project Logos...and I just let go and let God. I can't do this, but He can. I let God take all my fears and my stresses in the toilet.

Coming out, we began chilling and discussing about some key aspects of our activity and how we were going to run it. We needed to infuse structure and cleanliness to the whole system so as to not confuse the rest. All in all, we chilled, prayed, talked Bible and just had a great time, all time.


Sunday, June 22, 2014

22 June 2014

My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart. [Psalm 7:10]

Jesus is your shield. Jesus has made you upright in heart in the eyes of the Father. You are forever secure in the hands of your loving Abba Father. Now won't you believe this truth that will set you free from worry, fear and stress? :)

21 June 2014

But let all who take refuge in You (O God) be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love Your name may rejoice in You. [Psalm 5:11]

C'mon, let's rejoice in the name of Jesus! His protection is over His children. Psalm 91 tells us that He will not let our foot strike against a stone. Jesus is your protection from every disease, sickness or lack of an abundant life. Rest in Jesus!

#junehols2014 [22 June 2014] Ah, Sunday!

Well, here's to another Sunday! Woke up in the morning to fill in for my leader (who was busy with another task at hand) for serving, and thankfully his co–leader took the job instead, meaning that I need not exercise any authority (which I had none to begin with). We did what we needed to to, jammed a while with Marc's guitar to some classics, and argued about how the old songs were richer than the more recent additions. I love arguing.

My leader then came later to give us practical advice on Project Logos, how we can set up a much more systematic way to facilitate the discussion, which will take effect from Genesis 49 onwards (let's finish Genesis 48 and move on). We intended to have weekly meetups to discuss what we will do in the week, with the rest of Project Logos. It's definitely a very long–term commitment, one which I'm sure I'll be incredibly, thoroughly blessed by.

At 1050 hours, I was so prepared to go for the 2nd service..and my P6 churchmate came to me. Math. *On Sunday? ><><* Nonetheless, since God has given me a gifting in Mathematics, I shall use it to His glory. So we did math for the next 1 hour and 40 minutes...both of us looked like we were going to die (surprisingly for me, considering that I'm a Math maestro), but once we were done, I went up for the service. In all brute honesty, since I came too late, missing the worship session and the introduction to the speaker having no whatsoever context of his preaching, I zonked out during the sermon, trying to fool the All Stars that I was in Japan. Sorry, speaker.

After sermon, I went for a nice lunch with another churchmate, and in it we talked about grace and law. We talked about how grace and law have their purposes, and we should not mix them up. Sidenote: whilst walking there, we talked about how we need to be careful not to let even faith become a work (law). The law was not designed for us to obey; it was designed to show us our sinfulness, not our redemption, and grace gives us redemption. If we ever preach the law, we need to bring Christ out of it! Also, God's truths do not contradict, and we can allow the truths to mingle. One thing we must be conscious of is to refrain from depriving each truth from their power when we do mingle them in a single sharing. It is important to preserve the value of BOTH truths.


After lunch, I had intention to enjoy nice view at the National Library...however due to the low cash in my ex-link card, I decided to go home early and take a nice nap while I am at it. Woke up, dinner and onto my study of Genesis 49! It's interesting to view Matthew Henry's points, albeit a tad bit boring. Tommorow I'll consolidate John Wesley's points for our Servants discussion tomorrow on Genesis 49. And with that, lailah tov!

Ah, Sunday!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

#junehols2014 [21 June 2014] An Even–More Relaxing to the Already Relaxing Holidays Day

Time for tuition! P6 Math, here I come...or maybe I'm just slacking and skiving off considering that I made my student do a 50-minute pepper while I surf the net. Not exactly the best tuition teacher, considering that I could have used the time to do more important activities, but we went through some problems, and I'm really trusting God for her pass/A.

I made my way over to my next students' house and killed him with my JC-styled questions (even though the syllabus tested was still Secondary Two stuff). Sure, he didn't fare too well, but I don't care. After the boring, E-Math stuff, I taught him the Product Rule, which I managed to grasp after several practice problems. He learns fast, and I hope he keeps up this attitude even as he learns in school, not study. After him I peer-tutored my ex-classmate, whose questions, by God's grace, I was able to explain to him the solutions and answers to the questions. All glory to the Lord! As a way of saying thank-you, by ex-classmate treated me to lunch. Old Town White Coffee, White Sands, maybe?


Considering the blazing nature of the day, I decided to take a dip at the nearby swimming pool, and boy was the water not cold. I actually wished that it was cold, since I wanted a cooling dip, but hey it was not too warm for me to not enjoy the dip. Enjoyed time alone, enjoying God and enjoying my soul. Sometimes, every once in a while, you need to spend time alone to edify your soul too!

Upon coming home, I had to fulfil some tasks. I'm now praying that I can find a suitable interviewee for my Project Work considering that the person I intended to work with didn't have expertise in the field of study of my project. As such, I'm going to trust God that He will take me through. Somehow, I don't seem to be too affected by this. Either I really trust God or I don't really care about my Project Work. God, may it be the former!

And afterward, I was preparing a gift for my churchmate tomorrow. I prepared another gift for another churchmate some time back, but I'll give these gifts to them tomorrow. I do hope that they are blessed by them very much. It was fun preparing them too.

Reflections:

  1. Trust God with my P6 student. That's the only thing I can do.
  2. Alone time is nice.

Friday, June 20, 2014

#junehols2014 [20 June 2014] Punggolian Serenity

Woke up in the morning early to meet some friends in church for a study session, when I joined my lovely parents for a nice breakfast. They even offered me to take me to the train station, greatly increasing my convenience in travelling without compromising too much of their time. Thanks Mom and Dad!

On the train to Pasir Ris, I sat beside this Mom–daughter pair, so why not take this chance to make cute faces and see the toddler laugh? Annabelle was holding this olive green soft toy which she treasured, and to help engage her in interaction, I showed her a picture of Biggy, Cozy Heart and Yoshi too. It was interesting, since her mom sent her to the childcare before going to work. That’s lovely! Annabelle, don’t you dare flare up at mom for that. It’s a privilege to have your parents take you and back from school.

So I continued my journey to church, taking bus 354 while plugged into three great hits, ‘God is Here’, ‘Wake’ and ‘Hava Nagila’. At church, I began strong on a 25-mark Economics essay (2 parts; 10 and 15), of which for the first time ever I completed within the stringent 45 minute time limit. Praise the Lord! To continue onto a case study question was a bit of a bleargh for me, but when I got to the question which asked me of something I have had no idea of, I completely flipped out. Even the last essay, I just referred to the Ask-n-Learn portal for the solution, cos’ I’ve decided not to waste my brain cells any more here. Time for Math tuition at Rivervale, Sengkang.

On my way to Sengkang (I figured; why not just take bus service 3 to Punggol then take the train down to Sengkang? Much quicker and simpler route to travel), my student decided to cancel the session, as it was rare for her friends to actually hang out with her. Fair enough, since she’s the one in need of tuition, even though in my mind I’m thinking, “C’mon. I’ve got friends who never meet up.” Oh, whatever. I continued on my bus trip to Punggol and just realised how serene and posh this place was! Even the not-so-posh locations are of quite contemporary standard! My wife and I just need to stay here in the future. To continue my Punggol sightseeing, I took a trip on the Punggol LRT, and let me tell you how I just want to live in this serene, relaxing location. It’s much cleaner than the other parts of Singapore (relatively. I do know that Singapore already is one of the cleanest places on earth) and so, so serene. Lovely.



So once I’m done with Punggol, I figured that once I got rid of Physics, and if I consider my Economics work to be complete, then I would have finished all that I planned for the holidays (I did Math yesterday, remember?) and I would have a lovely 5-day break next week. I could definitely use these 5 days for catch-up with friends and, if I get homework from my tuition teachers, finish them before the week ends. Consistency is so important, and by the grace of God, He has given me the ability to do just that. So I went to Sengkang Mall to have lunch before embarking on my final Physics paper, and tried some Korean Ramen. In short: spicy instant noodles. Spicy. Woah! I then browsed through books at Popular (as I always do) and visited Precious Thots, in all honesty, for the LOLs. I didn’t have any intention to get anyone a gift; just wanted to look at all the cute teddy bears and aesthetically decorative trinkets.

At Starbucks, which seems to be my favourite studying haunt (followed by McCafé and Church, though Church is less favourable due to the unbearable heat here in Singapore), I was minding my own business doing Physics when everyone in Starbucks got shocked when we saw a Koel bird/crow/some black bird flying within the café. One lady even screamed in shock, and honestly, I found it quite amusing. Of course, I did not candidly express such amusement, lest I see my head on a silver platter. With the number of customers at Starbucks increasing, the students got chased out of the café (well, the air-conditioned parts) and had to make do with the non air-conditioned parts of the café, and let me tell you, it was quite uncomfortable. After completing more questions, I bailed out and sought refuge at MacDonalds, where they actually had space and decent air-conditioning for me to function well. My phone was almost dead, so I couldn’t refer to the notes that I made to include in today’s blogpost. As such, I would leave it to later while I travel to church.

I went home, got dinner, took a cool, refreshing shower, and hit the road once more as I head over to church for cell time. 

We had dinner at Downtown East (I enjoyed a cup of ice Horlicks) while trying to convince one of our JC–ridden cellmates to go for cell, which he procrastinated yet again for the umpteenth time. As he keeps procrastinating, he slowly distances himself from the cell. It might have to do with the debt issue of which I was given a revelation on Tuesday.

We had cell and it was quite a different setting, if I would say so myself. Of course, we reunited with those who didn’t go for camp, and we assimilated quite well. The sharing was authentic and deep, and I could share my revelation of how I’m no longer guilty to anyone and on this basis of guiltlessness can I live life to the fullest not affected by the storm of emotions that raged within me for the past 3 months.


In Project Logos, only Marc and I generally were talking. Admittedly, Genesis 48 was quite a boring chapter, and only once we moved into the Rhema and shared with simplicity did we get response from the members. It’s amazing how by sharing simple yet powerful keys that we can apply in our lives can we engage the rest.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

20 June 2014

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side. [Psalm 3:5-6]

No weapon formed against the child of God shall remain. When trials and temptations come your way, just know that Jesus has already overcome that situation. Rest in Him to pull you through; He will sustain you.

#junehols2014 [19 June 2014] Changi Airport

Took the morning to do Physics. I'm telling you: I got so bored of it! And after Physics it's Math, where I breezed through the paper with little difficulty.

Initially, I had planned to visit the Sri Mariamman Temple in Chinatown, but after my experience at the Buddha Tooth and Relic Museum the last time around, I think I'd better get some folks before entering another religious site. I do not want to invoke the fear of demons alone without my Christian brothers to help me out. As such, considering the ridiculously short amount of time I took to complete the Math paper, and considering that I have 3 to go to exhaust my Math exercises, I figured: why not use the rest of the afternoon doing Math? Tomorrow I can burn the morning doing Economics and on Monday, Physics. This would then give me 4 full days of play (in addition to 2 half-days of play on Friday and Monday), the final four weekdays of the June school holidays. Mathematics at Changi Airport, here I come!

Took a bit longer than expected to travel, but nonetheless I reached at about 0330 hours give and take. There I began by quest to complete 3 Mathematics papers in a marathon fashion, which I did, thanks to the grace of God manifested in the lovely Starbucks Café ambience as well as in the Christian music, which kept my mind focused on the task ahead of me. Oh, and also the love for Math that He gave me. That probably allowed me to speed through the papers with relatively little difficulty.

Whilst doing Mathematics, I met my churchmate! Well, we just so happened to be studying at Starbucks Café, so why not study together? Anyway, I continued Math while she did Chemistry, and boy is all that Organic Chemistry content a doozy. I gasped silently when I saw all the mind maps that contained all that information, momentarily, before returning to continue completing my Mathematics that I set out to complete to lighten my load (aka free week next week). Unlike the other practices, since this was a more balanced-out paper testing various topics, it was more engaging than the repetitive topical questions. Definitely feel more accomplished doing these papers than the topical questions, which just pathetically bore me.

Changi Airport was a surprisingly nostalgic place for me, not in the sense that I value that place that much (well, enough to warrant me going there to begin with), but that I got reminded of so many good memories that I previously had. Firstly, as the song "Healer" played, I was reminded of post-Kingdom Call's (Megalife Camp 2013) Fire Conference, and the epic preaching that the Lord did through me in class the following Tuesday. It was undoubtedly one of those faith-filled yet not without fear and trepidation of classmates judging me moments. I actually had the impression to do it one more time, this time around in St Andrew's Junior College, but I'll need confirmations for that. One more thing that I was reminded of was one of my overseas trips. I can't remember which one, but the recent ones since 2011 were all quite good, so regardless of the specific trip, I felt heart-warmed at the memory.

Now, I guess it's time to wind down a bit and start blogging, which just so happens to be what I'm doing, and also thank God for His goodness and just spend some time praying, indulging myself in the Word of God, just enjoying the things of God. Was enjoying the book of Proverbs. And it's 0930 hours, which meant another engaging time in Project Logos. Or so I think. I have come to realise that Genesis bores. And it's discouraging, some times. Nonetheless, under the influence of the Spirit, I typed what I would eventually share tomorrow, intending to send them in chunks, since I doubt anyone else would do it. I'm the crazy Bible freak.

It is amazing, however, to see Jesus. Just see Jesus and thank Him for...Him. Thank You, Jesus. I may get angry, I may feel like flipping out, but I thank You anyway. You work through me and You lead through me. Amen.

19 June 2014

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. [2 Corinthians 3:18]

I believe that how we are transformed more and more into the image of Christ is not by doing and not by trying to do good and religious activities, such as trying on my own to do quiet time or trying to pray to impress God, but by beholding the image of Christ. I pray to continue to unveil Christ in the word to us, that we may be transformed in His likeness.

18 June 2014

“The sun shall no longer be your light by day, Nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you; But the Lord will be to you an everlasting light, And your God your glory. Your sun shall no longer go down, Nor shall your moon withdraw itself; For the Lord will be your everlasting light, And the days of your mourning shall be ended. Also your people  shall all be righteous; They shall inherit the land forever, The branch of My planting, The work of My hands, That I may be glorified. [Isaiah 60:19-21]

When Jesus takes center place in our lives, our surroundings get blessed. God wants to make us rich, not greedy, so that these riches can be used to bless others!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

#junehols2014 [18 June 2014] Chinese Garden Pagoda

I started the day with a 25-mark Economics essay, where I gave up repeating the second part of the essay. Then I did the Math questions which I planned in a hour in 10 minutes. Fast. And comes Chinese tuition homework. Argh the torture, but thank God I did it anyway (with blocks of distractions provided by my oh-so-wonderful Macbook Air. With that done, I try very hard to convince my two friends to go to Adventure Cove for our meet up, which as of 1240 hours, they are still vehemently against this idea. Haiz. When will I ever go to Adventure Cove?

Regardless, I took my butt and went off to Jurong Bird Park. Or so I did until I saw the Chinese Gardens and the Lakeside. Hence, I dropped off at Lakeside to visit the 7-Eleven store which was  still there ever since I left Boon Lay to stay in Bedok. After a brief nostalgia, it's off to the Gardens. Wow was it a breath taker to just enjoy the calm and peaceful lake, quite unusually considering that the lake/garden was amidst a relatively urban setting (everything in Singapore is urban, lol). I stopped and a bench and started to read God's Word, reading to see how David being appointed shepherd over the people represents Jesus being my shepherd, and how Genesis 48 is yet another foreshadowing of the Divine Exchange. Also, the trees did shield me from the blistering afternoon sun and gave me a relatively comfortable rest.

From there I took a nice stroll along the gardens and not to be rude or anything, but I felt quite bored. I think I've seen quite enough of trees over the past few outings already. That said, I did climb the pagoda nearby. Not too much of a challenge; I actually wished that it was higher/steeper, a basically more adventuring endeavour, but the view up there was quite nice.



Anyway, after that, I took a nice walk around Westgate, the recently opened shopping mall at Jurong East, and as always, the thing that catches my attention all the time was the Popular bookstore! I walked around, playing around with some Apple gadgets at the Challenger outlet and browsing through some Nintendo 3DS games, some of which I already had previously owned. It was nostalgic to some degree and a nice walk through an air-conditioned shopping mall in the midst of a regularly blistering how Singapore day.

With that, I travelled to Bedok to go home...until I got caught up in the train ride in drawing the flag of Nepal using Graphmatica. As such, I spent some time in MacDonalds to try to complete some steps. I think I've finished step 10 out of 20-something, which is quite a feat considering that I'm calculating the details of the flag numerically.

With that, I had a nice dinner with my brother and mother. In all honesty, I felt quite pressurised considering that I wanted to finish this journal entry (sadly, I'm rushing with this all night rather than going through it by parts) and hence missed out on the fellowship that I could have otherwise enjoyed.

Reflections:

  1. Stay consistent with work and don't rush them at one go.
  2. Enjoy the plants. They benefit you by cooling you down.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

#junehols2014 [17 June 2014] Tuition: Mind and Heart

Today was a day filled of tuition. Well, before that I did some Chemistry and Mathematics, and it's off to give my churchmate some Math tuition. But first, brunch at Ya Kun.

Considering that the rest of my day wasn't too picture-able, here's some brunch photo-of-the-day.

I feel encouraged that my churchmate could understand the concepts that I explained and clarified her doubts on the topic. Don't have much to talk about today, other than the revelation that I received, which literally explained all my emotional ups and downs over the past 3 months, giving me emotional relief once and for all. For that, you'll have to wait for the *next* blog post. I'll be sure to load that one up!

Feels like a day where I'm repenting in mind and in heart.

Reflections:
1) Repentance rocks

17 June 2014

Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily. [Colossians 1:28-29]

When we preach, we should not preach merely doctrine or legalism, but doctrine that revolves around Jesus and legalism that says, "Christ has fully met the righteous demands of the righteous law; now we are righteous and saved not by the law but by grace!"

Let's preach not religion; let's preach Jesus.

Monday, June 16, 2014

#junehols2014 [16 June 2014] Camp Kadash Day 4

Joel Kindiak
Date: 16 June 2014
Topic: #junehols2014 [16 June 2014] Camp Kadash Day 4

Today started off reasonably well with a rushed breakfast (seriously, we woke up 15 minutes before the reporting time, which included time for washing up and breakfast) and a morning service. This morning service, as with all other services, started off with me being concerned about snapping photos with treasured person(s)/peoples. I really need to trust God with this, considering that He has been faithful with me for the past few days and He will not fail now. He is awesome and His plans for me are marvellously marvellous. Pastor Daniel shared on the importance of confessing the love of God over ourselves, and here are some interesting points that He made that are quite applicable in our lives:

  • Affirmation is critical for the wilderness
  • You can do it for love or do it from Love
  • What you accept, you will empower in your life
  • The more you see the good things of God, the more you see His power flow through your life

After the sermon, we were tasked to write down a commitment card, where we wrote down of the Lord’s work in our lives. We included (1) what God has empowered over us this camp, (2) our action plan, (3) our declaration of victory over our specific areas of struggle. It was a precious moment for us to apply what we have learnt in Camp Kadash into our daily lives, and also to keep us accountable to our leaders for it. Too bad I’ve only 10 weeks, give and take, left in Riverlife Church, so my leaders and friends only have 10 weeks to help me out even more, but hey, I’m going to use whatever is before me to flow with the grace of God and flow with His Spirit.
We sang an age-old classic that still touches hearts and impacts lives even to this very day: Jesus Loves Me. It is a powerfully precious song, where we declared the love of God over our lives all the way once over. We went around hugging each other, just like last night, and this definitely was a powerful moment in history for Camp Kadash, as it is incredibly important to love each others as brothers (among guys) and sisters (among girls) and brothers and sisters (boundaries, haha), and remain united as one body of Christ. It is important. Incredibly. Super, la dey!

This being the last service, and for me my final Megalife Camp service, how can I not take more photos? Now, this time, I’ll be a *bit* more generous. So keep on reading to find out more. Since I’m at camp now, why not take the time to just thank some precious people in my life?

Undoubtedly, I have super precious people in my life that I need to recollect upon. I must thank my cell for being with me all this while and just enjoying each other as a cell. Kudos to my bro leaders Ryan and Justin, who has time and time again heard me pour out my complaints and be a wonderful listening ear for me. I cannot imagine bottling up my emotions and literally struggling  and fighting on the inside between my faith and my feelings for the longest time ever. Seriously, these two rock all the way. I’m by no means in any position to correct them, but I can encourage them, and my exhortation is that they continue flowing in the ways of the Spirit and continue to let God use them to transform lives and grow my cellmates that we may all grow to become incredibly strong me and women in Christ. May Jesus take centre place as we grow and develop. Specifically though, I want to thank Ming Sheng for taking great care of some precious friends of mine in the cell that he leads. Truly he is an inspiration for me to learn to lead with love, as with Ryan and Justin, and that my leadership should not be one of mere doctrine and hermeneutics, but a sensitive realisation of the Spirit’s direction in Project Logos. Once again, thank You Ming Sheng, Ryan and Justin for leading with love, and showing me with your life how to lead with love.

I must thank some people who I always hang out with on Sundays during Superlife ushering, and these are Faith, Reuben, Tamara and Benjamin. Faith and Reuben continually inspire me with their zee for the Lord, considering that when they open their mouths, all that comes out are Bible-related or Christianity-affiliated stuff, which is pretty much what I love the most, just delving into the Word of God and enjoying the truths that arise from them. You inspire me to keep growing even more zealous for the Word of God, for the Logos, and you guys will make amazing bible scholars in the future. Maybe we should go for Bible School together. 


Hi Tamara. My sarcastic little sister, always burning me with all sorts of height-related puns. Smarty pants. Well, in all seriousness, you have been my prime encourager (after the Lord, of course. But even then, He used you greatly) and all the ‘Boker tov’s and ‘koolkats’ make me LOL. I hope you remembered some of the things you told me that I hope I can use on you to encourage you as well, because God has spoken through you in many times when you didn’t feel He did. Trust me, He did, and I have been greatly blessed by your encouraging words, prayers and exhortations. I am blessed for your teachable heart and for hearing me out when I preach for no particular reason. I’ve got more to say, but that will wait till another time in the distant future.

Dear Benjamin, you are an amazing leader. You are just so flowing in the Spirit every time you encourage me to do things with love, to lead Project Logos with love and compassion for the rest who don’t seem to be able to catch up. You always correct me to apply the declarations of God’s Word over my life and I could not be more thankful to you for that. Thank You for letting God flow through you in such a transformative way that I cannot go back the same way I came from. I thank you for your passion in the Lord and in your openness in sharing your experiences every now and then to spur us on to serve with joy. You have exemplified, to some degree, the love of God through ministry, and that I want to learn, that people will remember me as the disciple whom Jesus loved.

Dear Project Logos, I am very blessed by you. You have helped me grow even more zealous or the Lord. Thank you, Reuel, Alvin and Marc, for your passion for Project Logos as well; without y’all I doubt I have the ability to spur on Project Logos for the glory of God. Thank you Alvin for your talents of being a great photographer, blessing the masses through the Project Logos Instagram account. I am and will never be as photographic or artistic as you; I’m largely sure of that. You are an artist; I believe so, and continue to use that for the glory of the Lord. Thank you Reuel for pretty much helping me out by hearing me out every now and then. I am quite largely impacted by your maturity and humility in how you consistently remind me of the importance to validate revelations with contextual scripture, so as to keep my sharing relevant and accurate to the text. And I thank you Marc for being the spiritual giant in Project Logos, always flowing as the Spirit leads and speaking Rhema words into our lives. I’m sure I’ve been blessed by the Rhema words on dry bones and many have been to. Thanks for hearing me out when I needed to lose steam; it was really helpful for my emotional life. I’ve seen you change since Kingdom Call last year and I am proud to boast of God’s grace in your life. Indeed, you are greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved by the Lord God Almighty.

And now, for the photo gallery. The format is this: Photo [Name of friend/acquaintance] Here you go!
 Charlene Boo

 Ryan Chew

 
Carine Lai

 
Megan Tay

 District 15

Nikki Tan

Pastor Jeanette Low and Tamyra

Nicole Chew

 Pamela Chua and Phyllis Chua

Reuel Chua

Tamara Tan, Phyllis Chua and Lauren Lee

Ryan Chew and Darren Chew

Reflections:

  1. It is time to live radically for the kavod/doxa (Hebrew/Greek for ‘glory’) of God. My life is not about me but it is about Him.
  2. Jesus loves me this I know.
  3. May my ministry be one be acted from love and not for love.
  4. Thank your loved ones every now and then. It’s really heartwarming for them as well as yourself.